Hypothyroidism

Maybe this blog will turn into talking about THIS as well!...no one else seems to...  

 I had my son in June of 2013. It was a difficult delivery; anesthesiologist nipped my epi sack causing me to have spinal headaches and my son was 9.6lbs (I’m sure you can imagine the pain…). There was a lot of family drama going on at the time as well, which caused a lot of my joy to be taken from me. Becoming a new mother was amazing, yet trying. My son had colic and the hours of endless screaming was a lot to handle. I started back to work full time after 8 weeks of maternity leave and I hated to leave my son, however, he stayed and continues to stay with my mother; what a blessing! The reason I mention all of this is because these issues I dealt with were the same issues I explained to my doctor when I started going to see her when my son was about 7 months old.

I was feeling bad, up and down, full of anxiety, sickly, and just “off” and out of whack. When you go to your doctor as a new mom and explain these symptoms, she either A. looks at you like you’re crazy or B. smiles and says “You’re a new mom. You are tired and all the life changes are causing anxiety.” … Well, I received both types of responses. During the first appointment, a physical, I was prescribed Xanax which I never filled, because she was sure I was just dealing with postpartum anxiety. After getting my blood work back, she found my white blood cell count was low and needed to re-test after about 6 weeks. During that time I still had all the same symptoms as before but they were intensifying; the anxiety attacks were becoming a daily strife. After going back to the doctor, having my blood tested again, explaining my symptoms again, she still found that my white blood count was low and I was again prescribed Xanax for my “anxiety”. Upon going home, I was so angry. I kept thinking, I do not have anxiety issues, I’m a sane person, I just feel “off” and there is something going on! The anger surmounted in the coming weeks and I decided to make another appointment. When doing so, I told my mom everything, which included the fact that I thought I was going crazy because the doctor was finding nothing wrong with me (the low white count is just "me") and I knew something was wrong. She then said she would bet money on the fact that I’m hypothyroid because of all the “off” ways I was feeling, the up and down, the anxiety, the feeling like I was confused and disconnected (yeah, that came on too by this point). And why would that be so farfetched? My mom is hypothyroid, granny is hypothyroid, her family is too and my aunt is hyperthyroid (you can research the differences- ultimately your body is not working as it should either way). Hello! 

So on the NEXT visit to my doctor I reminded her of this family history. She looked at me as if a light bulb went off in her head! She then ordered a more extensive blood test, however she did say it should have shown up on my previous testing. Meanwhile, she sent me for a CT scan of my chest because I was dealing with chest pains and dizziness (I also was told I should see a cardiologist for the dizziness and chest pains I was experiencing -  he found nothing). After the CT scan was over, the blood tests came back and low and behold my thyroid was as 8.0! The normal level is between .04-4.00. Hallelujah! I was literally in tears because I felt like I finally had an answer!!! I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t going to need to be on crazy pills (although I’m not against them), I wasn’t going to be needing to be locked in a room!! I was going to be okay! Turns out that I might have been suffering for a long time, however the pregnancy of my son triggered it to go haywire. That was all just the beginning…

I was prescribed 50mcg of Synthroid, lowest is 25mcg. After about a month of taking it, my symptoms seemed to get worse on some days and other days I would feel like my normal self again. I called my doctors nurse to explain what I was dealing with; the worst of all the symptoms is the feeling of being “disconnected” from your own body. - This freaks me out the most! When researching, you will see the term “brain fog” and I wish they would call it something more severe like “brain gone crazy” or “total disconnection from your own brain”. The only way I can describe it is feeling like your brain is floating in your head, not connected to your spine, all the while your thoughts are stuck on stupid and you’re totally confused. When this happens my speech becomes slurred, it’s hard to type, write, or even think in one complete sentence! As this happens, it’s only natural that my anxiety goes through the roof; thoughts happen like “do I have a tumor?” “Will this last forever?” “Why can’t I think, is this stroke?” “If this happens permanently, how will I care for my son?” etc etc. It is debilitating! – The nurses explanation to my prolonged, worse symptoms was that my Synthroid had not fully begun to work since my thyroid level was so high; that it would take about 10 weeks given the fact that my  body had acclimated itself to working with a thyroid that was so high – my body is in the process of re-wiring itself so-to-speak. Holy Cow.

So here I am, in my 6^th week of battling this disease. I am still feeling the disconnect happening, waves of feeling like I’m extremely ill (much like the flu), nights where I’m speeding out of my mind (like my legs can’t stop moving and my heart is racing), anxiety (because the crazy symptoms make your mind wonder if something else is wrong with you), and just over all up and down and “off” / out of whack, and dizzy here and there. I made an appointment with my mother’s endocrinologist to ask tons of questions, take more blood work, and see if I’m taking the right dosage of Synthroid. I am just ready to feel normal again!

I am writing all of this because I feel like this is a disease that goes undetected (doctors just want to instantly say "anxiety") and not talked about. For instance, when you Google hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism you will read tons of articles explaining the disease (your thyroid pretty much controls your entire body!), but there are very few out there that talk about someone having it in real-life; their symptoms. However, the couple of things I did read that were written by an actual person that has the disease, stated a lot of the same things I’m explaining. The most important thing that I read was that a lot of doctors tell their patients that they are “depressed” or are having “anxiety” and therefore prescribe anti-depressants. New mommies out there could have had this triggered by their pregnancy, yet they are being told they are just dealing with postpartum depression or anxiety. The disease is going unnoticed! I cannot imagine how I would be right now if I was taking anti-depressants and masking what was really going on. What’s even more terrifying is reading that if left undetected, hypothyroidism can lead to heart attacks in women! I am so glad I spoke up to my doctor and I’m so glad I kept going to my doctor; no matter how crazy she thought I was! (Rambling here .. sorry blame the thyroid ha!)

If you are not feeling “right” it’s probably because you aren’t! Pressure your doctors to do tests on you and not just tell you that you’re depressed or having anxiety, ask questions, research, and learn your family history of different diseases. This body is the only body I have and it’s needed to be a mother, wife, daughter, and friend to many. I look forward to the coming weeks, getting more answers, and feeling normal again! I will keep this post going, maybe I will help other women out there who are feeling “not right” and are hoping for answers or who are dealing with the disease as well. Happy Thyroid!

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