Maybe this blog will turn into talking about THIS as well!...no one else seems to...
I had my son in June of 2013. It was a
difficult delivery; anesthesiologist nipped my epi sack causing me to have
spinal headaches and my son was 9.6lbs (I’m sure you can imagine the pain…). There
was a lot of family drama going on at the time as well, which caused a lot of
my joy to be taken from me. Becoming a new mother was amazing, yet trying. My son
had colic and the hours of endless screaming was a lot to handle. I started
back to work full time after 8 weeks of maternity leave and I hated to leave my
son, however, he stayed and continues to stay with my mother; what a blessing!
The reason I mention all of this is because these issues I dealt with were the
same issues I explained to my doctor when I started going to see her when my
son was about 7 months old.
I was feeling bad, up and down, full of
anxiety, sickly, and just “off” and out of whack. When you go to your doctor as
a new mom and explain these symptoms, she either A. looks at you like you’re
crazy or B. smiles and says “You’re a new mom. You are tired and all the life
changes are causing anxiety.” … Well, I received both types of responses.
During the first appointment, a physical, I was prescribed Xanax which I never
filled, because she was sure I was just dealing with postpartum anxiety. After getting
my blood work back, she found my white blood cell count was low and needed to
re-test after about 6 weeks. During that time I still had all the same symptoms
as before but they were intensifying; the anxiety attacks were becoming a daily
strife. After going back to the doctor, having my blood tested again, explaining
my symptoms again, she still found that my white blood count was low and I was
again prescribed Xanax for my “anxiety”. Upon going home, I was so angry. I kept
thinking, I do not have anxiety issues, I’m a sane person, I just feel “off”
and there is something going on! The anger surmounted in the coming weeks and I
decided to make another appointment. When doing so, I told my mom everything,
which included the fact that I thought I was going crazy because the doctor was
finding nothing wrong with me (the low white count is just "me") and I knew something was wrong. She then said she
would bet money on the fact that I’m hypothyroid because of all the “off” ways I
was feeling, the up and down, the anxiety, the feeling like I was confused and
disconnected (yeah, that came on too by this point). And why would that be so farfetched?
My mom is hypothyroid, granny is hypothyroid, her family is too and my aunt is
hyperthyroid (you can research the differences- ultimately your body is not working as it should either way). Hello!
So on the NEXT visit to my doctor I reminded her of this
family history. She looked at me as if a light bulb went off in her head! She then
ordered a more extensive blood test, however she did say it should have shown
up on my previous testing. Meanwhile, she sent me for a CT scan of my chest
because I was dealing with chest pains and dizziness (I also was told I should see
a cardiologist for the dizziness and chest pains I was experiencing - he found nothing). After the CT scan was
over, the blood tests came back and low and behold my thyroid was as 8.0! The
normal level is between .04-4.00. Hallelujah! I was literally in tears because I
felt like I finally had an answer!!! I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t going to need to
be on crazy pills (although I’m not against them), I wasn’t going to be needing
to be locked in a room!! I was going to be okay! Turns out that I might have
been suffering for a long time, however the pregnancy of my son triggered it to
go haywire. That was all just the beginning…
I was prescribed 50mcg of Synthroid,
lowest is 25mcg. After about a month of taking it, my symptoms seemed to get
worse on some days and other days I would feel like my normal self again. I called
my doctors nurse to explain what I was dealing with; the worst of all the
symptoms is the feeling of being “disconnected” from your own body. - This
freaks me out the most! When researching, you will see the term “brain fog” and
I wish they would call it something more severe like “brain gone crazy” or “total
disconnection from your own brain”. The only way I can describe it is feeling
like your brain is floating in your head, not connected to your spine, all the
while your thoughts are stuck on stupid and you’re totally confused. When this
happens my speech becomes slurred, it’s hard to type, write, or even think in
one complete sentence! As this happens, it’s only natural that my anxiety goes through
the roof; thoughts happen like “do I have a tumor?” “Will this last forever?” “Why
can’t I think, is this stroke?” “If this happens permanently, how will I care
for my son?” etc etc. It is debilitating! – The nurses explanation to my
prolonged, worse symptoms was that my Synthroid had not fully begun to work
since my thyroid level was so high; that it would take about 10 weeks given the
fact that my body had acclimated itself
to working with a thyroid that was so high – my body is in the process of
re-wiring itself so-to-speak. Holy Cow.
So here I am, in my 6th week
of battling this disease. I am still feeling the disconnect happening, waves of
feeling like I’m extremely ill (much like the flu), nights where I’m speeding
out of my mind (like my legs can’t stop moving and my heart is racing), anxiety
(because the crazy symptoms make your mind wonder if something else is wrong
with you), and just over all up and down and “off” / out of whack, and dizzy
here and there. I made an appointment with my mother’s endocrinologist to ask
tons of questions, take more blood work, and see if I’m taking the right dosage
of Synthroid. I am just ready to feel normal again!
I am writing all of this because I feel
like this is a disease that goes undetected (doctors just want to instantly say "anxiety") and not talked about. For instance, when you Google
hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism you will read tons of articles explaining the
disease (your thyroid pretty much controls your entire body!), but there are
very few out there that talk about someone having it in real-life; their symptoms.
However, the couple of things I did read that were written by an actual person that has the disease,
stated a lot of the same things I’m explaining. The most important thing that I
read was that a lot of doctors tell their patients that they are “depressed” or
are having “anxiety” and therefore prescribe anti-depressants. New mommies out there could have had this triggered by their pregnancy, yet they are being told they are just dealing with postpartum depression or anxiety. The disease is going
unnoticed! I cannot imagine how I would be right now if I was taking
anti-depressants and masking what was really going on. What’s even more
terrifying is reading that if left undetected, hypothyroidism can lead to heart
attacks in women! I am so glad I spoke up to my doctor and I’m so glad I kept
going to my doctor; no matter how crazy she thought I was! (Rambling here .. sorry blame the thyroid ha!)
If you are not
feeling “right” it’s probably because you aren’t! Pressure your doctors to do
tests on you and not just tell you that you’re depressed or having anxiety, ask
questions, research, and learn your family history of different diseases. This body
is the only body I have and it’s needed to be a mother, wife, daughter, and
friend to many. I look forward to the coming weeks, getting more answers, and
feeling normal again! I will keep this post going, maybe I will help other
women out there who are feeling “not right” and are hoping for answers or who
are dealing with the disease as well. Happy Thyroid!
Follow me on instagram @aubscash
